Alex's Adventures

My adventures in surviving life

Monkeys

Today at lunch, I went home and watched some Planet Green while I ate my food. The channel was showing a special on Jungles and Grasslands throughout the world, so I figured it was a safe thing to watch while I ate. It wasn’t. I watched a tribe of natives shoot down monkeys with blow guns and I watched the same tribe breast feed the little orphan monkey babies. I guess it’s like a circle of life thing for this community, but  “ew” is the only way to describe it. Watching those monkeys swinging in the trees reminded me of my friend Ryan’s obsession with monkeys and how he think they would be the coolest pets. Recently, Ryan put together an image of his “ideal” pet which looks something like this:

Yup. That’s a monkey (but imagine him with a cuter, puppy-like face Ryan says), with a lion’s mane, eagle wings (so the pet can fly and get him stuff) and a very fashionable raccoon’s tail. The traits you can’t see in this image are a dolphin’s intelligence and an ability to talk like a parrot, so he can sweet talk people while he’s away fetching things for his master.

That looks pretty disturbing, especially for someone who hates monkeys as much as I do. I don’t think they’re cute or cool to have as a pet (look at what Moe did) or even fun to watch at the Zoo. I think they’re gross, dirty and deeply frightening. Growing up with my dad’s obsession with monkey everything: coin banks, stuffed animals and decorative coconuts has turned me off from the  primate to the point where I “ugh” in disgust every time I see anything shaped like a monkey (like the green gorilla-shaped eraser I saw at JCPenney last week). Let’s just say there is no way I would survive a Planet of the Apes movie.

And just for fun, if Ryan could have a pet monkey, then he must be crazy or in a Disney film.

(3:50:45 PM) Alex: if u were a Disney character u would be Aladdin
(3:50:50 PM) Alex: cuz he has a pet monkey
(3:51:19 PM) Ryan: and a genie!
(3:52:34 PM) Ryan: oh snap… and a princess
(3:52:50 PM) Ryan: prince ryan
(3:52:52 PM) Ryan: it has a nice ring to it
(3:57:35 PM) Alex: ud have to wear those puffy pants
(3:57:41 PM) Alex: idk what if theyre mean pants
(3:57:53 PM) Ryan: I have a flying carpet too
(3:58:12 PM) Ryan: Aladdin had a pretty sweet gig now that I think about it

I guess Aladdin did have a pretty sweet deal especially since he was a homeless thief aka “street rat” at the beginning of the story. What guy wouldn’t want to score a princess with all her wealth and beauty? But that’s getting off the subject of monkeys. Anyways, enjoy the video below, appropriately named “Monkeys.”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 25th, 2011 at 10:22 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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